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Fabricating the Truth to a Senior Parent in Alzheimer’s Care

If you have a senior parent with Alzheimer’s, you may at some point need to decide whether or not to fabricate the truth about something.
Alzheimer's Care: Daly City CA
Alzheimer's Care: Daly City CA

If you have a senior parent with Alzheimer’s, you may at some point need to decide whether or not to lie to them about something. It can be very difficult for adult children to even consider lying to a parent. But when your senior parent has Alzheimer’s, sometimes fabricating the truth to them is the best option.

If your senior parent has Alzheimer’s care, you can learn some techniques for dealing with difficult situations from an Alzheimer’s care provider that is trained in how to most effectively help people with Alzheimer’s. Sometimes fibbing to your senior parent is necessary to keep them safe or spare them grief. Here are a few situations where this may be necessary.

Their Spouse Has Died

The grief of losing a spouse can be terrible, and seniors who have Alzheimer’s may go through that grief over and over again when they forget that their spouse has passed away. If your senior parent forgets that their spouse has passed away and asks repeatedly where they are, it’s okay to fabricate and tell them their spouse is at the store, on a trip, at work, or in some other way temporarily gone.

Telling them over and over that their spouse has died just makes them experience that loss over and over again which is difficult for them and for you. Even though it may feel wrong to lie it’s the kindest thing to do.

To Keep Them Calm

Seniors who have Alzheimer’s may get upset because they think something happened that didn’t. In that kind of a situation you won’t be able to make them understand that what they think happened didn’t happen, because it feels very real to them. For example, if your senior parent thinks that you stole something from them like a piece of jewelry and they get upset. Instead of trying to convince them that the jewelry was never stolen you might take it and hide it, “find” it, and then tell them it wasn’t stolen after all it was just misplaced. This will calm them down without challenging their perception of reality and making them more upset.

Another common scenario is where a parent with Alzheimer’s is convinced they need to leave the house to go to an appointment or go somewhere. You may need to fib to them and redirect their attention to keep them inside. For example, taking them into their bedroom telling them they need to choose a coat so they can coat to the appointment and then distracting them so they don’t think about leaving anymore.

They Need To Take Medication

If your senior parent needs to take medication but they are suspicious and don’t want to take medication, you may need to use some therapeutic fibbing to get them to take it. For example, if your senior parent is on anti-anxiety medication or antidepressants and they are suspicious of the medication you’re trying to give them and you tell them the medication is something else, like medication for headaches, that can be enough to convince them to take the medication.

If you or an aging loved one are considering hiring 24-Hour Alzheimer’s Care in Daly City, CA contact the friendly staff at Home Care Professionals today.
Call (866)-940-4855

author avatar
Andy Howard CEO at HomeCare Professionals
Andy Howard is a Bay Area Native who holds a BA in Political Science (University of Colorado at Boulder, ’97). After college Andy worked in the surging tech industry. His Grandmother however, would suffer a significant decline in health and ultimately needed in-home care. The experience of a loved one depending on outside help to age in place proved to be pivotal for Andy as he left the tech industry in 2002 for an opportunity in the home care world with a large provider. After having success in home care, but being frustrated by corporate constraints Andy founded HomeCare Professionals in 2005. He methodically built the company one client at a time by focusing on hiring quality caregivers to ensure positive outcomes. Currently Andy serves as the CEO of HomeCare Professionals and is also highly active in the non-profit organization California Association of Health Services at Home (CAHSAH) which advocates for a higher standard of in-home care for those who wish to remain living at home in California.

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